she read me rickey-tickey-tavey on the bus

2004-07-08T12:06:00.000-04:00

two days ago kerry announces his running mate is john edwards.
and then today, this.
coincidence? i think not.
who's just making shit up? c'mon, now....

2004-07-02T10:17:00.000-04:00

i have found blue moon ice cream again. blue moon is my favorite flavor of ice cream EVER. yes, even beating out mint chocolate chip.
i have found it at an ice cream store on clark about a block from wrigley field.
keep in mind here that i have not had this ice cream since i was about 10, at the ice cream store next to my dentist's office (i know, great business strategy, eh?)... and i remember searching northeast ohio for the flavor and was completely unable to find it. but now i move to chicago and they have it.
pure bliss, i tell you.

hottness

2004-06-30T15:09:00.000-04:00

According to a recent round-table interview in Rolling Stone, Democratic Sen. Joseph Biden had a recent "frank exchange of views" of his own with Dick Cheney, and in the Oval Office no less. But as far as we can tell, unlike Cheney's recent outburst, Biden didn't need any four-letter words to get his point across.

Here's what the ranking Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee says he told Bush and Cheney in a recent visit: "I was in the Oval Office the other day, and the president asked me what I would do about resignations. I said, 'Look, Mr. President, would I keep Rumsfeld? Absolutely not.' And I turned to Vice President Cheney, who was there, and I said, 'Mr. Vice President, I wouldn't keep you if it weren't constitutionally required.' I turned back to the president and said, 'Mr. President, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld are bright guys, really patriotic, but they've been dead wrong on every major piece of advice they've given you. That's why I'd get rid of them, Mr. President -- not just Abu Ghraib.' They said nothing. Just sat like big old bullfrogs on a log and looked at me."

He hasn't given the president a pass in the past, either: "About six months ago, the president said to me, 'Well, at least I make strong decisions, I lead.' I said, 'Mr. President, look behind you. Leaders have followers. No one's following. Nobody.'"

cleanliness is godliness

2004-06-30T14:45:00.000-04:00

"Most people don't know this, but every morning, dentists pour out a little paste for their dead homies. It's a true fact."

oh, the tragedy...

2004-06-29T14:56:00.000-04:00

"Buffamanti's own BMW 7 series left him stranded last month when he was driving from Pasadena to San Diego to pick up his kids in an unknown neighborhood and the car's pioneering satellite navigation system croaked. He hadn't stocked his glove box with an old-fashioned paper map (of course), so he was forced to make a series of cell-phone calls to get directions to his destination."

sixteen things i would be willing to vote for instead of george w. bush

2004-06-28T15:50:00.000-04:00

• Orgasms can only be reached while listening to "Meet Virginia" by Train

mmm... patton oswalt, why aren't we friends?

2004-06-26T10:05:00.000-04:00

osama bin lotto - just about everyone i know agrees that this IS going to happen, it's just a matter of when. this guy is taking bets. or guesses i guess, rather. regardless, i think he's righton. and i think "october surprise".

2004-06-24T22:38:00.000-04:00

one of my best friends, john... his dad died today.
i have no words.

2004-06-23T09:49:00.000-04:00

fuck wal-mart:

The judge cited a declaration by one woman that a store manager told her: "Men are here to make a career and women aren't. Retail is for housewives who just need to earn extra money."

He cited a second woman who said that when she sought a job in the hardware department, a male manager told her: "We need you in toys. You're a girl, why do you want to be in hardware?"

~

in addish, i'm sweet with tools. or rather, i have the capability to be. i helped ryan put the new gas tank i his vespa last night. and by helped i mean that mostly i aimed the flashlight in the dark and held some bolts & washers. but whatever. i could've done it myself, too.
mostly, it made me wish i knew more about working on cars, etc. le sigh.

~

and in other news, spoon this friday at metro. i've waited two years to see them. i'm so there. after $5 food & PBR at my bar. mwa ha ha ha ha.

2004-06-22T11:19:00.000-04:00

ew. milk.
i'll spare the rant about how unnatural drinking a cow's milk is, since i do love a cold glass of skim with some chocolate chip cookies, but... really. gross.

2004-06-21T14:42:00.000-04:00

un-fucking-believable.

2004-06-13T11:22:00.000-04:00

i am here. i am hungover. i am dirty.
but thus far, it's been great.
i am now going to eat.
l8r dudes.

2004-06-08T13:26:00.000-04:00

see ya later, ronnie.

2004-06-08T11:55:00.000-04:00

blah blah blah.
might as well mention here, too, that i'm moving to chicago this saturday. email and cell info remains the same.
word.

2004-06-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

oh for crying out loud... do we have nothing better to get upset about? i've been watching R-rated movies since I can remember (having HBO at a young age rules. no, seriously, I turned out just fine. bovs.) not to mention this story is about TEENAGERS seeing R-rated movies. like they're not having sex anyway, who cares if they see it on the big screen? these passes are not being handed out to 3rd graders. grr...

2004-06-06T12:14:00.000-04:00

funny thing is, i'd kill for a laptop right about now...

2004-06-03T12:57:00.000-04:00

jesus fucking christ... you know, you'd think after the whole dru sjodin thing up in minnesota/north dakota, courts across the country would realize IT'S NOT OK TO LET SEX OFFENDERS BACK ON THE STREET, because clearly, they just do it again. they are NOT rehabilitated.
i feel sick.

2004-05-28T12:51:00.000-04:00

if only anyone knew of my distaste for ironing dress shirts, they would buy me this. sure it's ugly, and bulky, but i bet it doesn't leave those pressed lines down your sleeve.

2004-05-27T10:33:00.000-04:00

good analysis of our new terror threat over at 1115.org

2004-05-21T09:22:00.000-04:00

finally, a democrat grows a set!

~

also, i rather enjoy lewis black, so it's nice to see he's getting his own HBO special. must make a note to watch/tape that.

~

and:
who in the FUCK are these kids?!? i only got a car summer after my junior year of COLLEGE because i'd be needing it to do an internship that summer, and even then i didn't really want a new one. people wonder why kids don't vote... this is why. they don't have shit to worry about, what the president does does not effect their little sheltered lives. ew.

~

woah... ok. this list makes me want to say fuck the cleveland browns. also, very interesting to see which local companies can kiss my ass, and which ones might be ok.
also - note the number of donators that live in gates mills. and i knew i always had a valid reason for hating the osborns... augh. what fucking jews though. the biggest construction firm in lake county can only donate $500 whereas marous (whom i believe is smaller) donated $2k to kerry. ew.

~

also, a great article marah sent me:
what abu ghraib taught me

2004-05-20T09:59:00.000-04:00

big 3 fear toyota is becoming the big one
well... duh! it's like marah said to me the other day, "a used toyota will work fooooor-ever." whereas a used GM/Ford/Chrysler... notsomuch.

~

also, John McCain rules:

"The Speaker is correct in that nothing we are called upon to do comes close to matching the heroism of our troops," McCain said.

"All we are called upon to do is not spend our nation into bankruptcy while our soldiers risk their lives. I fondly remember a time when real Republicans stood for fiscal responsibility. Apparently those days are long gone for some in our party."

2004-05-19T13:07:00.000-04:00

amen, my brother... amen.

2004-05-18T13:51:00.000-04:00

btw, i'm still not bitching about gas prices because i just filled up for only $12.70.

2004-05-17T11:04:00.000-04:00

la la la.
old people are horrible drivers.

"god i hate the vatican" -m.

2004-05-14T13:50:00.000-04:00

ok, um... honestly, it blows my mind that anyone is still catholic. seriously.

2004-05-14T08:18:00.000-04:00

you know if this were me they've have handcuffs on me faster than i could say "but officer..." but THIS OLD BAG gets off the hook cos her son is a judge and shit?!?
again: FUCK TEXAS!

2004-05-11T11:19:00.000-04:00

dear sweet christ, i love the black list:

GOLD BOND MEDICATED POWDER: We're barely even into May and it's already hotter than boiling monkey shit. And like the trucker hat, it's a sad, dead trend that won't be going away for a while. The end result of this mess for guys is a rather soggy mess known in certain circles as "Swamp Ass," a direct effect of the sweat glands in the nether regions working double time in a vain effort to keep the goods cool. When coping with swamp ass, a fella can do one of two things:

1. Go to the 99-cent store and buy a spatula specifically for peeling your balls from your inner thigh.
Live the Miller High Life like a true gangsta and drop an Abe Lincoln on Gold Bond Medicated Powder, available at any pharmacy.
2. Opt for Gold Bond -- Its triple medicated formula will have your junk as dry and cool as Death Valley on Christmas Eve. Each granule is so powerful that even the smallest dab feels like a million tiny blowjobs. For best results and greater euphoria, apply to freshly shorn nalgas, which if you're not already doing, step into the 21st century. Not even Andre 3000 can find a girl who likes a hairy tea bag. A -- Todd Munson

2004-05-10T14:12:00.001-04:00

two lessons here:
1) SUVs kill. mostly because people think they're safer in them, so they undercompensate and drive shitty. as this person did.
2) don't speed with children in the car!! unless of course you just see them as property and not human life in need of protecting.

deadliest in maine's history... whatever. cleary, maine is lucky.

~

also, i don't care how fat and weird robert smith looks these days, i'm going to this. who's with me?

2004-05-10T11:17:00.000-04:00

scarlett... oh my!

2004-05-07T09:52:00.000-04:00

if anyone ever wants to throw me a birthday party *hint, cough*, this would be the playlist to use..

2004-05-07T08:24:00.000-04:00

test.